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Hello, Simone

from Singles 2010 by Matt roi Berger

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Here’s another weird little love song, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter. Actually, I’ll say one more thing: I like imagining my junior year AP US History teacher standing on his desk ripping this guitar solo.

Weird, silly thing: When I was learning to write music - or perhaps, better, when I was learning to love music - my chief inspiration was Weird Al Yankovich. Here, like me, was a strangely shaped man considered annoying by most normal folk - a dork, a nerd. I found him hilarious. He had a wit and way with lyrics I immediately loved, and he introduced me to music it was necessary to hear. I don’t know if I would be writing music today if not for his albums - I owned every single one. (To this day I still start singing his lyrics when a song he parodied comes on the radio.)

All of this is to say that there is a lyrical style I used to covet and of late have lost - that witty verbosity that Yankovich possesses (I know there are others I study under, I know there are perhaps greater examples - but go with me here). Early off in my writing (or at least I’ll pretend to remember it this way), I really reached for this - wit, building with jokes one better after the other, tying it all together with the perfect punchline. That’s not to say I’m trying to write the funniest songs anymore, but, when I do try for humor, it reminds me how much copping Al’s style has taught me about good storytelling, economy of words and songcraft. I’m in his debt.

All that said, the crutch this song relies on is, sadly, gone for you. But trust: Mr. Cooley, perched atop his desk, would look hilarious ripping these licks.

lyrics

Hello Simone
My, how you’ve grown
I can’t help but admire
What you’ve done in such short time
How you wiggle when you walk
How you tickle when you talk
Singing, Hello, Simone, How you been?

Hello Simone
My, how you’ve shown
Nature’s supplies
Matter twice a number’s size
How you wiggle when you walk
How you tickle when you talk
Singing, Hello, Simone, How you been?

I long to hold you
And keep you satisfied
I promise never to scold you
Or keep you up on a school night

Hello Simone
My, how it goes
Seems like year since
Your old man and I were friends
How you wiggle when you walk
How you tickle when you talk
Hello, Simone, How you been?

How I long to touch you
And keep you satisfied
I promise to always love you
And keep this just between you and I

Oh, my dear
The irony is clear
What you’ve taught me can not be surpassed
I’ll see you next week in class

credits

from Singles 2010, released December 31, 2010
Music and Lyrics by Mattroi

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Matt roi Berger Brooklyn, New York

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