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Old Country

from Singles 2010 by Matt roi Berger

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Definitely finding myself inspired by Jay Reatard these days - He had a really wonderful combination of melody and fuzz - hooks that actually cut. As I drift through his back catalog again and again, I see the blueprint for something near and dear to me. A sound, an idea of sound, that’s kept me flitting between twee and punk and never really landing at the heart of it all. Some vague wish that pulls me forward.

Old Country certainly takes after vintage Jay. I understand that he wasn’t seeking to lay a blueprint out for anyone - that much is clear from his interviews and his attitude on stage. That was his music, his life in song, and it bows to no greater plan that that, I reckon. That said, I can’t help but take a hugely positive note from his music - you make your own plans, you build your own sound. To build someone else’s sound makes you more the contractor and less the architect.

This song comes from a very strong place emotionally, but the wordless hooks aren’t extraneous pop. I’ve come to find recently that there’s a real joy in realizing deep, sometimes awful, feelings - feelings of abandonment and weakness, of fear. Maybe that’s the guilty pleasure of pain, maybe it’s the joy of self-discovery and growth. Here, it’s the pleasure of recalling a stronger man, a freer time, and perhaps a will to return to the wild.

lyrics

I got my head but I’m living in a tough rut
I have a dreamin but it’s never quite enough
I made a state and my fate is only rust shut
It leaves me wishing for another sort of living
In the Old Country
We could be happy
In the Old Country

I got a heart but it’s having such a hard time
It’s got a chain with a weight and oh she’s all mine
And in this state there’s no way to play a fault line
You got me wishing for another sort of living
In the Old Country
We could be lovers
In the Old Country

And all mistakes are all my friends
It’s all my fate this state I’m in
There’s no escape from what I’ve come to be
But, oh, to I think of where I was
When I was me and I was young
And all the world only mine to seek

I got a skin but it’s feelin like a ghost hold
There was a season it chameleon’d with the local
Now it’s the armor that I’m wearing in the sinkhole
It leads to reason that I was only dreaming
Of the Old Country
I was a savage
In the Old Country

And all mistakes are all my friends
It’s all my fate this state I’m in
There’s no escape from what I’ve come to be
But, oh, to I think of where I was
When I was me and I was young
And all the world only mine to seek

In the Old Country
In the Old Country

And all mistakes are all my friends
It’s all my fate this state I’m in
There’s no escape from what I’ve come to be
But, oh, to I think of where I was
When I was me and I was young
And all the world only mine to seek

credits

from Singles 2010, released December 31, 2010
Music and Lyrics by Mattroi

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Matt roi Berger Brooklyn, New York

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