about
When I started writing this song, I was working on a deep metaphysical metaphor for being trapped in one place, or one emotion, never being able to fit in socially. Then I decided, fuck it, the metaphor is no where near as interesting as the story itself. So here you go. It’s a song about a ghost who wants to go outside, but he’s stuck haunting the place where he died. He wants to go outside so badly!
I’ve been reading a lot of Jonathan Lethem lately - great writer. Reading his earlier novels, I kept wanting something more from him. The prose and POV are great; the worlds he crafts are stunning - But at the end of each book, I found myself wishing for meaning. Just as much as his style influenced this song, his refusal to “wrap things up,” his aversion to fake out a moralistic “point” inspired me to give over more fully to the story I wanted to tell. I write nonsense lyrics sometimes, sure, but I call them “nonsense,” and reserve them for jokey songs like Park Slope (In the Eye) or Hello Simone. But that’s really all I’m doing ever, right? Just telling stories. So go with it, Berger. Tell the damn thing and stop apologizing.
lyrics
Seems I was here before
I’m never ever sure when I’ll return
And every part of me
Is, at the deepest heart of me, unsure
But when I said I’d never rest
I guess I kept my word
We haunt the same damn rooms
Our fathers haunted, fondly haunting us
We wear our brothers’ suits
In hopes the other ghosts won’t treat us rough
Pretend we never knew -
We know it’s not enough
We saw the changes come
I never felt them
The timing’s everything
I’ve never heard a lie so well rehearsed
And when it’s all the same
You never miss a thing so what’s the worth
The second hand is always
Thinking of itself first
If there’s a difference, well
I never feel it
But I, I want to go outside
I’ve never felt so tired
I’ve needed to get right
And I, I want to go outside
I never found the time
I never needed
The ammunition’s here
So why not put the fear of God in them?
Like windows stand a chance
‘Gainst anything on which we lay our hands
Outside! Take me, take me!
But I, I want to go outside
I’ve never felt so tired
I’ve needed to get right
And I, I want to go outside
I never found the time
I never needed
credits
from
Singles 2010,
released December 31, 2010
Music and lyrics by Mattroi
Backing vox by Morgan Lynch
license
all rights reserved